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Saturday, December 11, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
yeh hubli ki chok bhaasha baa !
It was 7 am.
My table clock, in snooze mode, was trying in vain to bring me back to reality world. And then, finally a voice woke me up … rather shook me up as my ears sent some signals to my sleeping brain cells which really needed to be woken up to interpret this particular piece of data .
The signal read ‘Yen macha, ut jaa .. late ho gaya’ …
NOW, I knew just about enough kannada to know 'Yen' mean 'what'. It’s the 2nd word which my brain cdn’t decode : Macha ! M-A-C-H-A… NO .. not there in my database ! maybe my ears erred !
‘What did u say bro ?’ I asked
‘Its late macha’ my room-mate replied.
MACHA !!?? .. NOW my ears can’t cheat me twice in 5 seconds. User Input was indeed correct then ! … Time to ‘ADD NEW to DATABASE’ (dbms was always my fav)
To enlighten myself then, i asked ‘What is this ‘MACHA’ ? is it a slang ?’
Nahi BAA ! aisa kuch nahi.. Macha is a casually used term here. Tu jaldi ready ho BAA !
Great ! 'Macha' was not even being processed completely, now this BAA came ! what BAA ? Baa as in the grandma Baa of saas-bahu serials ??! Was he going to tell me that is also a casually used term ?
Too many cooks spoil the broth. Macha was enuf for today. Maybe I’ll learn more new things myself with time. So I didn’t bother him to ask about the BAA theory.
IN CLASSROOM, as I was trying to note down the points written on the blackboard (yes, I was crazy enuf to make notes then :D), this one guy asked me
‘Itna kyun gudaadke likh raha baa … will take Xerox notes from some1’ …
NOW, I had come across that popular ‘khunal-khunalke’ in that famous Hyderabadi comedy flick. Maybe ‘Gudaadke’ was something close to that ! Interesting :D … I was indeed learning a lot here from 1st day itself ! And by this time, I had also found out that ‘macha’ and ‘baa’ were indeed commonly used terms.
At lunch-break, after a formal introduction to each other, I went to college canteen with 2 later-to-become-good friends.
‘main fried rice loonga’’ I decided.
“Fried Rice nako ! Dosa ” one of them said.
So then ! I was literate enuf to understand this one. But still, the word Nako ??!! isn’t that a Marathi word ? did he intentionally use it as a Marathi word ? I asked him about it.
‘yeh belgaum ke lok yahan aake sab Marathi mix karte hain’, remarked the other.
Hmm ! .. sensitive issue i thought . Shouldn’t go ahead with this one !
Later, in the day, one of them was narrating some story of his, at the end of which I remarked “tu chaava hai bey” ... Now 'chaava' is a Mumbai-special used for addressing ‘Cool Dude’. Obviously, both of them were alien to this gyaan. In a perfect sync, both reacted ‘KYA???’. I explained what I meant and told them I’ll be careful not to add the Mumbai spice to my hindi next time.
‘arey, aisa kuch nahi baa. U speak hindi in your style. We will learn the mumbaiyya hindi from you. Tujhe maalum nahi kya ? hubli is called ‘Chota Mumbai’’.. one of them stated.
Chota Mumbai ??!! Going by the geographical areas of both the cities, even CHOTA sounds ridiculous . So whats the logic for this title then ??
‘The spirit of young Hubli is on par with the Mumbai spirit’ justified one.
‘The crime level in Hubli is almost touching the Mumbai level now’, said another.
‘So does Hubli pride itself to be tagged as ‘Chota Mumbai’ when Mumbai itself is planning to become India’s Shanghai’ I asked them. The rest of the discussion was irrelevant as we went on and on about how cities should strive to have their own identities and all.
Anyways, coming back to their offer of me teaching them Mumbaiyaa Hindi, i co-relate this one with that famous joke in which Lalu Prasad Yadav is sent to United States to learn English and when his wife Rabri Devi calls up to check out his progress, Bill Clinton answers ‘Haalo, hum Bilva bol raha hun’..
Because later, when I went home to celebrate Diwali, my parents and friends were shocked to find my upgraded version of Hindi, which was now coming out so naturally to me. My friends threatened they would cold-blooded murder me if they hear me using ‘BAA’ again.
Back in Hubli, once i went to a near-by stationary shop to purchase a bath-soap.
'Uncle, ek LifeBouy saabun dena', i said.
After going through his stock uncle replied back, 'LifeBuoy nahin hai, Cinthol saabun hona kya ??
If i were to make a shudh Angrezi translation of this one, it would translate as :
'I don't have LifeBuoy, do you want Cinthol to happen ??'
Thankfully, my brain had become more smarter since the 'macha' experience and it decoded 'hona kya' part successfully :).
Those were the days when Mungaru Male songs had become a sensation in the whole of Karnataka. I liked them too especially ‘anisutidhe’ for it’s purity and ofcourse Sonu Nigam. As I queued up the songs in my playlist, my roommate made sure I wasn’t missing out on Mungaru Male songs. As ‘anisutidhe’ started playing,
‘wat a singer. Tujhe pasand ha ki nahin Sonu nigam ?' i asked him.
‘haan yaar. Unhe mast gaata. Lekin Unhe kannada songs bahut kam gaata' he replied.
‘Sahi baat hai. Kyunki Use hindi songs ke liye jyaada paise milte hai. ‘ I reasoned and waited in anxiousness to see if he observed me and if he rectifies his Unhe with Use in his next sentence.
‘lekin, I feel after this Mungaru Male success, Unhe kannada songs bhi gayega’ he said.
Rectification was Done ! the other way around though. Very Soon, Use became a history in my own Hindi Vocabulary.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Indian SuperHeroes on a MISSION
A team Of Indian Super-Heroes are on a mission to catch the Terrorists.
Krissh : The enemy is not far away now . Lets attack. Is everyone ready?
Jadoo : Dhoop ! Dhoop !
Rajnikant : Rascalla Jadoo !
Krissh : I forgot ! JADOO is a worthless doll at night .
( FUK FUK FUK FUK …. Shaktimaan appears)
Shaktimaan: making fun of anyone’s weakness is an act of Cowardice !
Krish : sorry Shaktimaan ! ! sorry Jadoo.
Shaktimaan : OK fine. M joining your team. we will wait here till morning and wait for the sunlight .
Krissh : I don’t think we’ll get sunlight . it’s raining and there will be cloud cover in the morning also …
Rajnikant : don’t worry ! I will blow the clouds away.
Shaktimaan (to a man) : M sorry but who are you ?
Drona : my name is Drona. And Its ok . Hardly anyone knows that I ever existed. I protect some secret stuffs on Earth which shouldn’t be accessed by the Evil.
Shaktimaan : That’s fine .. but why are you dressed up like the Prince Of Persia'?
Drona : err .. wat do u mean .. I m unique ! Together with My sword and my knight, I am Invincible !
Shaktimaan : Ok .. so its not just the looks that’s inspired ..
Drona : Look ! That prince lives in a palace . he lives a luxurious life. I had a very Lonely and bad Childhood !
Shaktimaan : you mean like Harry Potter ? Is there anything original about your life so far ?
Drona : someone just said ‘making fun of anyone’s weakness is an act of Cowardice !’
Shaktimaan : oops, Sorry Drona !
Rajnikant : Ok guys, I’ll warm up myself till morning then.
(suddenly the Earth begins to shake)
Shaktimaan : Its an EarthQuake !
Krissh : No ! Rajnikant is doing Push-Ups !
Rajnikant : sorry, I’ll try to do it more gently.
( the intensity of the tremors decrease a little ).
( a Flash of light catches Krissh unawares).
Krishh : wat was that ? Lightening ?!!
Shaktimaan (pointing to a man) : no, that was a flash from Sanjay Singhania’s camera. He took your photo. He,too, is joining us on this mission.
Krissh : what ? ??
Shaktimaan (whispering to Krish) : I bluffed him that Ghajini is hiding here. And I know he will do anything to kill Ghajini.
Krissh : are u kidding ? He has already killed Ghajini !
Shaktimaan (winks) : well, he did kill Ghajini …. and then forgot it after 15 minutes ..
Krissh : ha .. ha.. poor boy
(meanwhile Sanjay Singhania attacks Jadoo)
Sanjay (shouting): FINALLY I HAVE FOUND YOU. I WILL KILL YOU GHAJINI. YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES.
Krissh : wait …. Stop it… he’s not your man ! … we are attacking Ghajini in the morning…
Sanjay : then who is ... err …. I mean what is this thing ??
Shaktimaan : ACT OF VIOLENCE IS A FORM OF MADNESS. First say Sorry.
Sanjay : sorry Shaktimaan and sorry .. you ET-like Object !
Rajnikant : it’s a RASCALLA from some other world with POWERS. HE was living in Outer Space cause I m living on Earth !
Jadoo : DHOOP ! DHOOP !
Shaktimaan: and it doesn’t need Bluetooth to transfer its powers. It just has to LOOK at us for its power Transmission. Krissh’s father and his team won a Basketball match thru this technology.
Krissh : Ok lets PLAN our ATTACK till sun breaks out. Each one of us will have tasks based on our powers. What will you do Shaktimaan ?
Shaktimaan : just what I did to Stone Man , Electric Man & Light Man . I mean I have got a set of moves which I repeat for every villain. What about you Rajni ?
Rajnikant : naaat to worry ! I will protect you all from the bullets and grenades.. Besides , till today, Only I have Hit my enemies. They have never Hit me Back. Just google ‘Rajinkant beaten’ and you will find ZERO results.
Krissh : I m multi-powered. I can climb a tree faster then any monkey, glide like Batman, Jump and crawl like SpiderMan and even turn round-n-round like you Shaktimaan. My creators have done a great Job by copying … I mean combining powers of all existing super-Heros.
Jadoo : DHOOP ! DHOOP !
Drona : Is there anything left for me to do ?
Krish : what can you do
Drona : I can … well … let me think … wait .. OMG ! I don’t even know my Super-Powers… why did they even create me ?
Sanjay : I WILL KILL GHAJINI.
Krissh : OK, we’ll move ahead after sun breaks out
(It’s Morning ….. Jadoo Re-Charges himself … and they all attack the terror camp.. Suddenly a bullet is fired towards JADOO )
Shaktimaan does his ‘fuk fuk fuk fuk’ to stop the bullet, Krissh begins to fly towards it to stop it, Sanjay is busy taking photos and making notes, Jadoo is looking at DHOOP. Meanwhile RajniKant lits a Cigar, Inhales and then Exhales in the direction of the bullet .. THE BULLET HEADS BACK TO THE ENEMY…
Rajnikant : HOWEEZIT ? don’t MIND IT !
Raavan : bak… bak.. bak … chak… chak.. chak … Enuf Of you ALL ! JUST take your team away from here, Batman !
Krissh : am Krissh ! Not Batman.
Ravana : sorry, that mask confused me.
Krissh : just like your ‘chak.. chak.. chak’ confused me for The Joker of Batman. Anyways wat r u doing here ?
Raavan : wat do you mean ? I m the terror … chak.. chak.. chak.. look I m so menacing …. you can’t kill me.
(Meanwhile Sanjay attacks Jadoo again)
Sanjay : finally Justice will prevail . I WILL KILL YOU GHAJINI. YOU WILL DIE.
Krissh : wait , where is DRONA ?
Raavan : HA .. HA .. HA .. I was only Drona. people didn’t accept me when I became Super-Hero Drona . So Now I Have become Villain
Shaktimaan: But didn’t people reject you as RAVANA as well ??
Raavan : don’t make me angry .. chak.. chak.. chak
Shaktimaan : plz ! Your attempt for an Why-so-serious act is driving us crazy. Say sorry.
Raavan : sorry Shaktimaan ! …wait a min … I m the villain … I Never say Sorry
Krissh : but you did say just now.
Raavan : I HAVE 10 HEADS ! Sorry from ONE head doesn’t count.
Krissh : surrender yourself Mr.Ravana else you will have to watch this ..
(Krissh shows him the DVD of the movie ‘RAAVAN’)
Ravana : No …. No … I surrender … this is worser then death …
Jadoo : DHOOP ! DHOOP !
Sanjay : Why are you all following me ?.. Answer or I’ll Kill each of you .. do you all work for GHAJINI ?
(to be continued)
Friday, September 17, 2010
when vinay broke up . . .
Vinay P : Just ‘Broke up’ with my GF :(
1 hour ago o Comment o o Like o
18 people like this
View all 71 comments
Ashutosh : hey vinay, kya hua ?? How all of a sudden ?
1 hour ago o Like o
Gopal : Finally, something to comment for :). wat happened vinay ???
1 hour ago o 2 people like this o
Lalit : kaise hua vinay ?
1 hour ago o Like o
Vinay : yeah guys, just broke up wid her today. Things weren’t going gr8 between us
1 hour ago o Gopal & 4 others like this o
Ashutosh : tats sad …. How r u ? and Forget it bro, get on wid yo life
1 hour ago o Like o
Priya : Hi everybody.
1 hour ago o 9 people like this o
Vinay : @ashu not at all fine yaar… feeling very low ,… not having interest in doing anything :(
1 hour ago o Like o
Gopal : Except ofcourse, logging in to your FB account and updating your status bar, rite ?? :D
1 hour ago o 5 people like this o
Gopal : @priya hi, whats up ?
1 hour ago o Like o
Vinay : @gopal I just wanted to put down my frustration somewhere. You won’t understand the pain of break-up !
1 hour ago o John, Gopal & 4 others like this o
Gopal : kitna pain ho raha hai ? bleeding jyada hua shayad. Go and see Doctor.
59 minutes ago o Like o
John : ROFL
57 minutes ago o Like o
Vinay : @gopal am not in a mood for any jokes buddy
57 minutes ago o Like o
Gopal : sorry bro, but yeah.. I do understand ! I have seen movie LOVE AAJ-KAL. Saif throws a party after break-up. WHERE’s THE PARTY THEN ?
55 minutes ago o Priya, Neha & 6 others like this o
John : yeah, lets PARTY !
53 minutes ago o Like o
Priya : hey, I m in too … its been quite long since my last party.
52 minutes ago o Like o
Rashmi : what’s the dress code ???
52 minutes ago o Like o
Vinay : @all PLZ people … all that break-up party stuff and all happens only in movies. In real life, Break Up Kills You.
51 minutes ago o Like o
Gopal : OMG ! are you dead …. Bhaago …. BHOOT !
50 minutes ago o 3 people like this o
Rohit : hi, anybody watching cricket match ? I think RCB gonna win easily. What say ?
48 minutes ago o 12 people like this o
Ashutosh : who initiated this break-up ?? and how is she taking this ?
48 minutes ago o Like o
Lalit : @ashu kya initiate be ?? vinay engine chala raha kya ? as if in NFS mode ‘Gentlemen, start your ‘BREAK-UP’ :D
47 minutes ago o 2 people like this o
Vinay : @ashu, I don’t want to talk about it . Makes me really sick !
47 minutes ago o Like o
Ashutosh : But then, you have made it public now , people will ask you questions.
46 minutes ago o Like o
Vinay : let them ask, i just wanted to express my frustration and disgust in public.
45 minutes ago o Like o
Gopal: @ashu what vinay’s saying, my friend, is that he will just show the trailor, but not release the movie.
43 minutes ago o Like o
Vinay: @Gopal tujhe to main dekh lunga saale ..
42 minutes ago o Like o
Gopal: anytime BRO ! shall I switch on my Web-Cam then ?
41 minutes ago o John likes this o
John : @Vinay, so you say, you want to make your break-up news as breaking news on FB, you want every1 to know about it, yet u don’t want people to ask u about it.
41 minutes ago o 8 people like this o
Vinay : commenting on my status is people’s choice, and not explaining it is my choice.
40 minutes ago o Like o
Gopal : Bravo ! Bravo !
39 minutes ago o Like o
Priya : hey rashmi, have you seen Dabangg ?
37 minutes ago o 7 people like this o
Ashutosh : @all plz don’t make fun of vinay’s situation. If u can’t help or support him, atleast don’t make it worse for him.
36 minutes ago o Like o
Vinay : thanks ashu
35 minutes ago o Like o
Rashmi : @priya no yaar, I don’t like salman khan. Have you seen it ?
34 minutes ago o Like o
Ashutosh : @vinay jo hona tha ho gaya. and don’t consider yourself guilty. everything happens for good.
32 minutes ago o Like o
Vinay : thanks a lot yaar.
31 minutes ago o Like o
Ashutosh : my pleasure :)
30 minutes ago o Like o
Gopal : Chunnilal talking to devdas :)
29 minutes ago o 3 people like this o
Priya : yeah, saw Dabangg yesterday. Total entertainment. The movie is a good timepass yaar. Do watch
28 minutes ago o Like o
John : hey girls, u already are a part of a movie here. ENJOY ! I already got my popcorns .
27 minutes ago o Like o
Rohit : Dravid on fire ! RCB rocks !
26 minutes ago o 8 people like this o
Lalit : so vinay, SINGLE again huh?! Will you make your relationship status public then ;)
25 minutes ago o Like o
Vinay : Yeah will put up that soon. ‘Single- Not Ready to Mingle’.
24 minutes ago o Like o
Gopal : Oh .. tats so cruel.. so many girls were waiting to mingle with you :D
23 minutes ago o Rashmi, Priya & 3 others like this o
Neha : Ultralike ! :D
22 minutes ago o Like o
Priya : LOL :D
22 minutes ago o Like o
John: @priya I was happy for you. Tera line clear hai abhi :) . But he’s not ready to mingle rite now. You have to wait !
21 minutes ago o Gopal likes this o
Vinay : john … plz stop saying crap things.
20 minutes ago o Like o
Priya: @vinay CRAP ?? so if I m linked with you, that is crap for you huh! You broke my heart.
19 minutes ago o Like o
Vinay: I didn’t mean that way. Don’t mis-Understand me.
17 minutes ago o Like o
Priya: was kidding bro ! just chill.
16 minutes ago o Like o
John: she called you BRO vinay. Chapter Closed !
15 minutes ago o Priya & 2 others like this o
Rohit: Its Raining :( . RAIN, RAIN, Go away. COME back after Dravid completes his century.
14 minutes ago o Like o
Tina : @Vinay how dare you make a public tamasha of our relationship. This is not a daily soap that you want more TRPs for your nautanki. And stop crying like a baby OR are u acting so to gather pity ? you looked pretty fine some hours ago when we decided to be Singles again.
13 minutes ago o 10 people like this o
Vinay : You stop telling me what to do and what not to ! I have only written ‘Broke-up’ if u can Read ! not revealed anything.
12 minutes ago o Like o
Gopal: yeah Tina, we didn’t understand anything by simply ‘broke up’ .. I mean even if we have seen you both together 24/7 in college, outside college :D … wat break up Vinay ? who is she ? :D :D
10 minutes ago o Tina likes this o
Tina : @vinay Don’t be rude. If u wished to express your so-called frustration, you could have met your friends and shared your issues with them instead of putting it down here
9 minutes ago o Like o
Vinay : Friends ? ? what friends ? I used to be with you Day & Night. Never did I hang out with others. Thanks to you, I have no friends.
7 minutes ago o Like o
Gopal: @ashu Dekh yaar, tujhe laat maar diya vinay ne :D :(
6 minutes ago o 2 people like this o
Ashutosh: indeed :(
5 minutes ago o Like o
Rashmi: Hi tina, how it feels to be single again ?
5 minutes ago o Like o
Sameer : guys, what time is the class tomorrow
4 minutes ago o Like o
Tina: @vinay ofCourse, u are a lonely soul without any friends. 250+ friends on FB don’t count as friends rite ?
4 minutes ago o Ashutosh likes this o
John : Oh Boy ! m unfortunately committed ! I swear if I knew that break-up wd give anyone this much importance, I wd have broke up long ago.
3 minutes ago o 3 people like this o
Riya: hi, whats cooking here ? m I late ?!
2 minutes ago o Like o
Riya:@sameer hi .. class is at 9. The 8’o’clock class is cancelled :)
2 minutes ago o 15 people like this o
Tina: Plz vinay, delete this thread. Lets not make our ’break-up’ a joke.
1 minute ago o Like o
Sameer: Play has Resumed ! Dravid is on 99. What a Player !
seconds ago o 5 people like this o
Lalit : Too late, somebody has already posted this thread to his Blog . chk out www.sanotechworld.blogspot.com
seconds ago o Like o
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