My Review : The Dirty Picture

What I LIKED :

1. It's Vidya Balan all the way. A couple of weeks ago, Ranbir stamped his authority to bag the Best Actor awards next year. This Friday seals it for the Best Actress one. The ease with which she slips into the character, will shock the ones, who were spell-bound by her roles/performances in Parineeta and Paa.

2. Silk's character is unapologetic about herself, right from start to end . She is flawed, outrageously bold with negative shades and hence the character is believable. This morning, I read some reports comparing the central plot with Madhur Bhandarkar's Fashion, which's uncalled for, as Priyanka's character is much more vulnerable then Vidya's.

3. Some scenes were superbly handled. Like the one in which Vidya kisses Tushar to spoil '2 parties', the one in which Vidya runs around the street crazily shouting if anyone's there to talk, the award speech by vidya...

3. Emraan Hashmi's character graphing was interesting. After making all the bold statements to prove movies primarily run cause of scripts, eventually even he falls prey to the commercial masala towards the end.

4. The bold scenes are so erotic, but they are never obscene or vulgar. That's a difficult thing to achieve.

What I DIDN'T LIKE :

1. Vidya-Emran conversations. 
As Abraham (Emran's character) can't stand the fact that item songs and masala sell, and not award-winning scripts, his scenes with Vidya should have lightened up the screen. Instead what we have, is the cliched 'i win, you lose' stuff. Abraham developing feelings for Silk, out of nowhere, is also hard to digest.

2. Suddenly, Vidya and her rival star break into a dance at a party.

3. The completely misplaced sufiyana song, pushed in, probably in the most boring 15 minutes of the movie.


4. Fine, dialogues are great but why throw in heavy-weight lines at every possible chance ?? They consistently range from being cheesy (dil hota hai left mein, magar hamesha right hota hai) to applause worthy (har aadmi ke liye ek aurat bani hai... jab tak usse bachoge, aage badhoge) that after a point, you feel every character in the movie is a born poet and writer.

What I HATED :
TUSHAR KAPOOR .... Any tom,dick, harry could have played that role. Why him ?  .. just look at the way he looks at Vidya .. like a 5 year old kid, desperately expecting a chocolate from Silk aunty .. 


Verdict :
Its not perfect, not even close . Its a just-about-good movie, made enjoyable by the livewire act of Vidya Balan. Watch it once !


My Rating : 3/5

The Rain & Angel

         She was alone, completely drenched, shivering very badly, frozen and stiff. It was pouring down very heavily. I quietly went and stood besides her, holding my umbrella, covering both of us from the unseasonal rain. She didn’t mind that. I had been seeing her around for quite few weeks now. I couldn’t take my eyes off her when I first saw her. Her small, but dark brown eyes were so expressive. I would look towards her adoringly and often she would stare back at me, which would give me a “sense of recognition”. I had tried to approach her on more then a occasion, but she would always retreat back. ‘why was she so petrified of me?’ It would irk me then. I remember once I was almost at a hand-shaking distance, but then I saw her mother who was right there along-side her, which scared the hell out of me. So our association never went beyond looks and stares. Today was the ideal opportunity to break the ice.

     
And then she collapsed ! The weather had taken it’s toll on her. Without thinking for a second, I took her up in my arms and rushed home. Mom opened the door, and not surprisingly, was shocked on seeing the unexpected guest with me. “Are you out of your mind ? ” was her instant reaction. But then, looking at the semi-conscious living being in my arms, who was still trembling profusely, she understood the whole situation. As I entered, mom asked me to lie her down on the sofa.  Soaking a piece of cloth in hot water, mom placed it over HER fore-head. I sat there just watching her silently, and trying to figure out what was it about her, that made me feel she’s my responsibility. Slowly, she re-gained her consciousness completely. And as she opened up her eyes and looked around, she panicked for a few seconds before she saw me sitting besides her. I could make out that she felt comfortable on seeing me around. While having her lunch, she was not at all ashamed of flaunting her whole-some appetite for the potato sabzi & dal-rice made by mom that day. ‘What about her mother?’ and I thought so. ‘She must have been so worried and concerned for the where-abouts of her child by now.’
      
       I wanted her to be there with me for some more time but for her mother’s sake, I decided other-wise. How I wished it rained for some more time. She’s so very … Wait ! where was she ? Well, I never realized when she had got up and walked towards our balcony. I didn’t know for how long she had been standing there looking out towards the rain. But I wasn’t going to lose this moment and grabbed my camera immediately. With the background of dark clouds, drizzling rain, some greenery and herself being in the foreground standing rock-steady, the described picture-perfect image remains the best one in my collection. Once done with that, I enjoyed the view, standing along-side her. Unconsciously I put my hand over her, and she didn’t mind. She wasn’t petrified of me anymore. A small spell of rain can work wonders. The moment lasted for, maybe, just about a minute or so, but it remains one of the most cherished moments till date.  One look from mom and I knew she wanted me to drop our guest back as soon as possible. With a heavy heart, I decided to follow my mom’s order.
     
 I dropped her to where I had picked her from … Her mother was there, waiting. She didn’t even growl or bark at me. She knew Angel had been taken good care of. Yes, I named her Angel. My bonding with Angel is something beyond words, and literally. Cause we never spoke with each other and yet we spoke !
        
Since then, whenever I go out for a walk, I always make it a point to carry ParleG biscuits, Angel’s favourite. Often I see her near our Society Complex, sometimes outside the Grocery store, at times sleeping on the foot-path, but mostly I find her .. at the same spot where I had picked her from ! And I don’t know, each time, whether I find her out or she finds me.

UDRS Confusion Exposed !

IN the thrilling INDIA-ENGLAND tie, Yuvraj had appealed for an LBW against Ian Bell which was turned down by the umpire. Dhoni went for the referral (UDRS : Umpiring Decisions Really Silly) . Replays were being showed on the big screen. Bell started walking. Indians started celebrating. Crowd started roaring. But the umpires were taking unusually long time to arrive at the decision. Here is the complete transcript of the conversation between third umpire R.Tucker and ground umpire Billy Bowden :

Billy : so what do you think ?

Tucker : am thinking of the Hamburgers. Really miss them billy. They call it ‘wada pav’ here

Billy : yeah, am hungry too. So many 4’s and 6’s .. Tired of dancing again and again. Lets give him OUT and have some rest.

Tucker: it does Look OUT billy . It is hitting the stumps but ..

Billy : but what ?

Tucker : he’s more then 2.5 metres ahead

Billy :  WOW !  I thought Only Pakistan bowlers are capable of bowling such a Huge No-Ball .

Tucker : No .. Not the Bowler .. I am talking about the Batsman …

Billy : oh ! .. 2.5 ahead huh !?  So what is that supposed to mean ?

 Tucker:  don’t know .. but it must mean something. Cause the text here showing ‘more then 2.5 meters’  is in BOLD unlike other plain texts.

Billy : so what do we now ?

Tucker : No Idea.

Billy : Get an Idea.

Tucker : I don’t have ICC rule book here with me right now.

Billy : can’t we just leave the decision to the players… like in Sydney Test Match where the umpire once asked Ponting if ganguly could be given out ….

Tucker : Can't do that. Ponting is an Australian ! only they enjoy those privileges.

Billy :  yeah.. hey … why don’t you ‘Google’ and find out the solution to this '2.5 metre stuff'

Tucker : Great Idea, but I don’t have internet on my VODAFONE … wait .. what’s that … it’s a bird … NO .. it’s a plane .. IS it an Alien … WAIT ! its Vodafone 3G-Man to my rescue ...

Billy : great .. so NOW Browse quickly and select some good search result for this problem.  … also ask that puppet-thing why doesn’t he wear clothes

Tucker : hey, I Got it ! .. The rule book says that if the batsmen is more then 2.5 meters ahead, the ground umpires should take the Decision. So, its over to you Billy

Billy : What the hell ? then what is this UDRS for ? I refer it to you .. and then you refer it back to me .. Fine then .. Now I refer it back to you again .

Tucker : and my decision is ‘Going with your Decision’

Billy : Ok .. I say he’s ‘Not Out’ .. C’mon now, press the Green Signal ..

Tucker : Billy, don’t be silly ! look at the crowd.. These people were even ready to be ‘Beaten’ to get a ticket for this match . they  will make ‘Tucker Curry’ for their dinner if I give ‘Not Out’.

Billy : then what about me ??

Tucker : I will pray for you.

Billy : You owe me Big Time Tucker

Tucker : I do ! hey look  billy… Bell is already bored … he’s walking away

Billy : how dare he ?? I decide if a player goes or not. And I say that ‘He stays’. 

Tucker : Sure buddy ! just like you also decide where a fielder should stand, and not the captain ..